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I notice that I explain myself too much.
I rehearse conversations in my head before they even happen.
I change my words so they sound nicer. Softer. Easier to accept.
And still, I walk away feeling misunderstood.
Sometimes it feels impossible to say what I actually mean without feeling like I’m doing something wrong. I want to be honest, but honesty feels risky. It feels like it might cost me connection.
I read something on Reddit that stuck with me. Someone said they never say what they really feel because they are scared of being seen as difficult or dramatic. They said it feels safer to stay quiet than to explain themselves and be misunderstood anyway.
A lot of us learned early that being easy to deal with mattered more than being honest. So now, when we try to communicate clearly, guilt shows up. Anxiety shows up. We second-guess everything. We wonder if we are asking for too much when we are really just asking to be heard.
I don’t think most people struggle with communication because they don’t know how to talk. I think they struggle because they learned that their feelings were inconvenient at some point. So now every sentence comes with fear attached.
Someone once wrote,
“I’m not bad at communication. I’m just tired of explaining myself to people who don’t really listen.”
There is no clean solution to this. No perfect sentence that suddenly fixes communication. But there is something small that helps. Saying one honest sentence instead of ten careful ones. Pausing instead of apologizing immediately. Letting silence exist without rushing to fill it.
Communication is not about being perfect. It’s about being real, even when your voice shakes a little.
Pause for a moment:
What do you usually hold back
Who do you feel safest being honest with